The Games
by CharlesWickens
Summary: Doctor Jerbal Argon has come up with a way to save his failing clinic. The cost? Some Mud Men, some angry LEP offcicers, a dwarf with excessive flatulence. The 1 game show. Whose going to claim what is rightfullly thiers? First fanfic. R
1. TV show?

Hello peoples, I am here to inform you that this is not for the faint of heart… But seriously it is. Or not. First BIG ONE. LET THE GAMES BEGINS!

Disclaimer: I ain't own nothing. Actually I did own a fish once but he died. :(

The Games

Doctor Jerbal Argon was a very tough spot. His prized celebrity Opal Koboi, now in custody of the LEP, had just recently frozen her assets on the decision on of The

Council. The assets included Opal Koboi's fund for his clinic thus ending his money and fame His wife had successfully divorced his sorry arse and to top things off his

clinic was on the verge of bankruptcy.

Doctor Argon at the time was sitting at his desk fifteen months after the Opal incident. The fact was that he needed a devious scheme to regain his fortune, but what?

The doctor was jotting down some notes when his conference screen rang. Jerbal answer the call, putting it on his conference screen, which appeared agrinning face

of his older brother, Jeremy. His brother was quite annoying, but aren't all TV producers?

"Hey! Jerry, my boy, what's happening bro?" greeted Jeremy, obviously enjoying teasing his little brother. The doctor frowned, glaring at the screen. He had no time

for his brother's foolish television shows.

"I'm very busy right now, and would you stop calling me 'my boy'?" Jerry replied to the TV producer. Jeremy's grin fell from his face.

"Okay fine. Anyways I need you help…" he continued. Jerry looked up from his work, for he sensed a favor coming. He nodded to the screen, telling him to go on. "We

need some help putting on a big television production, though it has to be reality. You know, real life stuff!"

This got Jerry thinking. This show could turn him around. Get some gold, scoresome ladies and get advertisement for his clinic. It was a win-win situation. "How long is

it going to take to set this up?" He asked his older brother. Jeremy smiled, knowing he got some assistance.

"Good, you're in. It will take as long as it needs to. We need immediately a list of possible contestants" inquired Jeremy. "Do you have anyone in mind?"

The doctor smiled back at his brother. An idea had just come "It so crazy, it just might work" he told Jeremy. "How would the network handle some certain Mud People

on the show?"

* * *

A/N I am sorry its so short but I just want to introduce the concept of the thing. Read and Review, Foo!

"You hear that Elizabeth! Hear Comes the BIG ONE!"


	2. He broke my bat

Hello all, it's Charles Wickens, and I'm keeping this thing alive so here we are! I noticed the lack of review. If you dont I will personally write a complaint and you will have to deal with it so HA!

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Eion Colfer's characters. Don't sue me, because I don't own anything worth it (Though I do have collection of yugioh cards, lol)

Chapter 2: He Broke my Bat

"Freaking finally, they get back from Limbo! We need them on the show pronto! Send the package immediately," Doctor Jerbal Argon instructed one of his lowly employees.

It was the day after Artemis came back from the demon island, Hybras. The network that Doctor Argon and his brother Jeremy were working for was HBC, or Haven Broadcast Corporation.

The lowly employee was in fact, quite lowly for it was Grub Kelp. He was on 'temporary leave' from the LEP, and had a day time job working for Doctor Argon.

"But sir, are you sure that we are even allowed to do this?" asked Grub nervously. He did not want to do anything illegal.

The doctor sighed. "Yes, we've have the approval from The Council. Now hurry, we don't want to miss them" he told Corporal Kelp. "Take your wings, get your shuttle's starter chip and head there now! "

Grub strapped on his wings and took off. It time for his reunion with the Mud Mountain.

...

Butler, for he was the Mud Mountain, was driving Artemis back to Fowl Manor. It was the day after his young charge had save the demon island of Hybras. At the time he was filling in some information for still shocked Artemis

"Yes twins, Myles and Beckett. Both boys," he said to Artemis, who was resting at the back of the car.

Even Artemis hadn't anticipated this. In all his years on the planet, he had kidnapped a fairy, saved his father from the Russian Mafia and put down a goblin revolution. But never had he even had the thought of being a big brother, never mind his parents having twins.

"How old are they?" Artemis asked Butler. It was the only question he could think of.

Butler made a rather unnecessary gesture to the driver of a hummer that almost crashed into their car." Watch it punk!" he shouted out of the tinted window.

Butler turned his head towards the genius. "Sorry, Artemis. They turned 1 last month, so I'd say they're 1"

Butler pulled over into the garage of Fowl Manor. Artemis noticed that not only was the cars in the garage were severely damaged, but an LEP shuttle was also parked on top of one of them. The expensive Lamborghini, to be specific.

Artemis stared at the very damaged and even more expensive sports car. All it's windows were shattered.

"BUTLER!" shouted Artemis in a very angry tone. They were still in the car and yet his voice had echoed in the garage. Butler had never heard Artemis in this type of speech.

"Yes?" the bodyguard simply asked the boy, hiding his nervousness of what could be the problem.. Artemis pointed at Lamborghini.

"DOES THAT CAR HAVE INSURANCE!!" Artemis asked him. Butler tensed up, knowing the answer to the question.

"Of course…" Butler told Artemis. Artemis then appeared to relax.

"Thank God. I wasn't sure if it did or not"

The boy stepped out of the car and was quickly knocked out by a floating baseball bat.

Butler saw what had just happened, and immediately used the phrase that anyone else in the world that spoke English would use in this situation.

"WHAT THE HELL??" **((A/N Yes, that is a lot of question and exclaimtion marks.))** Butler exclaimed in disbelief. He raced out of the car to his employer's aid, only to be hit multiple times with a baseball bat. A floating baseball bat.

Butler then sunk into unconsciousness and fell sluggishly to the ground.

Grub Kelp then vibrated into visibility.

"Dammit. He broke my bat!"

* * *

So there we have it, hopefully it will spark some reviews from you reading people…If I am left to say anything, I'd say ONLY ONE MONTH OF SCHOOL LEFT!! WHOOOO!

"I Got a purple dinosaur!"


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